As the day to leave approaches closer and closer(13 days now!) I've slowly being filled with a mixture of emotions. Excitement, nervousness, exhilaration, and a whole lot of fear I'm slowly questioning what kind of decision I had made. As I sit in my bed in the middle of the night, reading article after article about how hard living abroad is and thinking about how difficult of a time I'm going to have with my rudimentary french skills I decided that instead of spiraling into panic mode and stress eating seaweed snacks from TJ's(highly recommended by the way) I should probably take a deep breath and blog about it.
I received a letter from my host sister, a seemingly lovely girl and I can't wait to meet her. However, reading her very grammatically correct and complex french letter had me typing the words google translate in my search bar and painstakingly figuring out what exactly she wrote. I then realized I had to write back, and that whole experience really made me freak out. However, as I sit here typing I'm slowly reminding myself why I made this decision in the first place. Yes, it most probably will be unbelievably hard to acclimate myself to a new language, especially one that I've had trouble with in school(why didn't I pick Spain again?).
I've slowly been trying to get my mind in the right headspace for this new venture, and it's made me think about a lot of things. Mainly, about how much I'm going to miss all my family and friends, even my school. My brother, who is becoming a freshman in my high school this coming fall was telling me about how many people kept asking if I was his sister while he was at soccer preseason. For some reason, it made my heart ache in a way that i didn't realize it would. Missing out on a whole year of your high school is a big deal and I don't think I had even digested that fact. I teared up a little as I realized I would miss my little brothers' first year of high school and all the memories that come with it.
However, as I look at the pictures of Rennes, France I know that I'm about to do something not many people get the chance to ever do. I know I'll be living in a new country, eating croissants and spending days walking the cobblestone streets in the city I'm living in. I know that I'll be traveling around Europe, meeting new people and exploring new cultures. No matter how hard it may be, I am 100% positive that in the end it will be worth it, and I can't wait to take it on.
Until next time!